Monday, December 28, 2009

No Energy

I don't know what my lupus is doing right now. I am supposed to get blood tests every 2 weeks and its been, well, a while since I got them done. I get a CBC with electrolytes, liver and kidney function, sed rate and a urinalysis every 2 weeks and then ANA, complements and other assorted antibodies every 6 weeks. I've been slacking, and therefore I don't know what the lupus is doing other than making me feel like crap. Compounding the problem is that my deigestive system is being messed up by a very large stone blocking the flow of things.

One thing I am noticing is fatigue. I do not have the energy that a lot of my friends have. The thought of going to some club until 2 in the morning dancing and drinking and partying exhausts me, let alone actually doing it. I saw the movie Avatar today (which was A LOT better than I thought) and it was 3 hours long. I also went to get something to eat in the same complex as the IMAX where we saw it. I was done by the time I got home. I wanted to run an errand and maybe also see a friend, but I was so tired. I haven't left my couch or the bed since then.

I get really frustrated with myself. Why can't I keep up with my friends? Its all about limits again, and I just need to realize that. I sometimes think that they think I am lame or whatever, but my body just can't handle very much. My joints have been beating me up recently and I'm constantly worrying about how the food I put into my body will make it feel. But most of my friends have known me for most of my life. And Ihave found some very understanding ones along the way. It's probably all in my head when I think they think I am lame.

But anyway, I hope to be feeling better soon and I hope that my surgery takes care of the problems I am having with my stomach. Or else I need to see a gastroenterologist and I am quite tired of doctors and tests.

P.S. RIP Adam Frey


Anonymous said...

I am also living with lupus at a young age. I'm 23 and was diagnosed at 18. I also have Rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia. Before I was diagnosed with this i was fun and outgoing and always down to party!! Now I do nothing but work a full time job (which is taking a toll on me) and sleep the rest of the time!! My friends dont understand cause they all remember me as the girl thats down for anything and now I never go out! It is so hard for me cause I feel like I am such a burden on everyone else. Also it makes me feel horrible that my Fiance and my mother get so sad to see me sick!! I feel like I am causing so many people pain with my illness. I want so badly to find a friend that is close to my age that has lupus so we can just lay in bed and watch chick flicks all day long cause we are not feeling good and cause our bodies cant do what everyone else's can at this age!! Do you know of any support groups or ways that I can go about finding that!! I am in desperet need of a good friend that knows exactly what I am going through!!

mellzie19 said...

I know how you feel. I have looked for support groups and unfortunately I have trouble finding them. I especially wanted to find one geared toward our age. I have played around with the idea of starting one myself, but I don't know how to go about doing that.It's one of the reasons I started this blog, to try to connect with people in the same situation. Its hard trying to explain to people why you can't just jump up and go to club or party or whatever.

P.S. Sorry it took me so long to respond!