Not In Control

I don't really think I am doing very well with my lupus. I think I'm just pushing myself too hard, but I don't see any other option. I just want to get this semester, and school in general, out of the way. To postpone my tests and stuff would make me more stressed out in the long run.

I have had a low grade fever for about a week now. My joints have been a lot more painful this past week, my sun problems have started up again, my migraines are coming back and my stomach and throat have been having problems. I'm feeling really run down and just want to get into bed and not think of anything for...even just a few hours. Two more weeks is what I have to keep telling myself.

We got our first real snowfall of the season yesterday. It was pretty to look at, but not so pretty to go out in. I forgot what a pain it is to clean snow off of a car. It was not too bad, the streets are clear. It was mostly on the grass, cars and buildings.

I did get good news today. My friend has an opening in her apartment on campus and I am going to be moving in! So no more roommate problems, I get my own room! And a kitchen where I can make my own food and a bathroom I only share with one other person. I'm so excited!

Today was a pretty good day, but I have a headache that is going to become a migraine. I want to take my abortive medicine but it knocks me out a lot of the time and I have to study for a Spanish test tomorrow. So I'm going to wait a while and take it before I take my shower so that I'm good and sleepy by the time I am ready for bed.

I get my ultrasound tomorrow and I see my doctor on Tuesday. Hopefully I can get some things sorted out. Maybe I should start taking a pain killer regularly again? However, most NSAIDs after a while mess up my stomach. I tried Ultram and was up all night shaking and nauseated, so I don't want that. And anything stronger knocks me out and I do not really want to be on anything stronger. Prednisone has been mentioned, but the side effects of that are numerous.

I guess I will wait and see and pray that I make it through these next few weeks. The end is in sight, I just have to keep focused on it.